Culling Crazymakers

March 2, 2010

Late in 2008, one of my friend’s passed on a book for me to read, that she found quite chilling to read, and which also chilled me.  The title of the book says it all, “But He Says He Loves Me: how to avoid being trapped in a manipulative relationship” by Dina L. McMillan.

An excerpt from the Introduction tells how the man ‘grooms’ his choice of woman – a psychological insight into his steps – and these two poems from the book eloquently encapsulate the energy dynamics.

Broken Vessel

I watch you in secret from the side of my eye

For portents and signs

That my world will turn rightly or split full apart

On an axis of thought or simple turn of phrase

I started out whole, if not wholly complete

In wonderment and fear

You burst through with labels of saviour and keeper

With claims of paradise to be found in your arms

With boldness you focused and pinned me in place

I think I can’t breathe

Your words froth through me like acid on stone

Eroding my knowledge, my light and my self

I watch as my heart is smashed in your anger

Seared hard at your whim

Now my soul peeks through the poorly glued cracks

And glistens no more, not sacred or fine


These women,  you know

They’ll talk till they’re blue!

While desire is pulsing and rising in you.

So say whatever she wants you to –

‘Cause a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!

So, tell her anything.

Tell her you’ll stay for the rest of your life

And of course you’re going to leave your wife,

As your hand slides gently between her thights

‘Cause your needs are piercing, as sharp as a knife!

So, tell her anything.

Say you’ll respect her when all this is done.

As you plunge deep inside her say,

‘You are the one!’

Soon it’ll be over, and then you can run,

‘Cause to her this was love

To you this was fun!

So, tell her anything!

Despite campaigns against domestic violence, many women (and men) find it hard to free themselves from an abusive relationship.  It’s common for friends and family to shake their heads and wonder why someone won’t leave or to question how the relationship started in the first place. 

…..but he says he loves me.   A life in six words? 

Better the Devil you know?



  1. Wow, that’s a helluva Devil card! What deck is that from?

  2. Got no idea, Debra. The image was sent to me a year ago by an Internet acquaintance with no information about the deck.

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