Here Where You Wish

May 2, 2011

The Spirale of SoulCollage

Image Credit: Blue Moon Creativity

From Whimsigals: An Angel Encounter

I thought I would start off with a story about meeting my Guardian Angel … I haven’t told many people … but, I am willing to share it with you 🙂

People who know me will understand that I am dealing with anxiety issues … that usually manifest as claustrophobia and/or agoraphobia.

One day I was out with my Mother visiting a very busy shopping centre … that has a multilevel carpark – complete with elevators and fire escapes.

I have shied away from the elevator in the past … on this particular day I chose to walk down the stairs and meet Mum at the bottom …

On my way to the stairs … I decided to take the fire escape … a moment of madness? I hoped it would be a shortcut.

Instead of the shortcut … it turned out to be a very long concrete tunnel with internal steps … which was taking me on quite a journey … I began to grow concerned about where the exit was … and how far away it would be … as the tunnel seemed endless.

As I came down another set of steps … I saw a woman at the end of the tunnel in front of the doors … I was relieved to see her and the end of my journey.

As I approached her, I noticed that she was wearing a uniform – white shirt, dark skirt, with a logo … she had a set of keys hanging from her belt/waist.

She was also sweeping the steps.

I explained how and why I came to be in the fire escape tunnel and that I was so happy that she happened to be there … and she smiled and let me out.

It was only afterwards that I realized that I had met my Angel … not only was she waiting for me … she was sweeping steps that didn’t need sweeping … as the tunnel and steps were perfectly clean!

SoulCollage® Playground

KaleidoSoul A site totally dedicated to the art and wonders of SoulCollage, an intuitive collage process that anyone can do. Simple and exciting ideas.

Transforming Fear ~ 3 Card Reading, by Anne-Marie

Agoraphobia 1 Painting by Heidi Prange

By Dinah Dietrich

Last evening was the annual Collage holiday party. It was the first time I ever attended. I would have liked to go before but was confined to the house by strapping anxiety/panic, immobilizing and paralyzing. So I am better now and I was able to attend the party. I’m told I am in remission, now, and that the illness I had is mostly done with. It’s like a broken leg in a cast, healed, the cast came off. Now it will take some time to get used to walking on the leg.

I have to take some time to get used to life again. I was in a prison of the mind, a mental illness, all my life almost. Yet, I am glad I lived; I have had enough good experiences and enough rich stuff to make it all worth it, even the excruciating mental pain. During a dark time, I grew somehow—It was certainly an experience of life, a difficult and odd one. I was a human being in great pain and turmoil, nearly hopeless for several years of it. I had enormous endurance strength. I have to give myself a lot of credit for making it through.

Now I am better I can go out into the world again—Rediscovering the world after being confined to the house by agoraphobia. I wouldn’t step off the porch.

Image Credit: Ricko, flickr

Life is like a bowl of oatmeal with just enough raisins to keep you going through it. A really close friend of mine said that back when I was a teenager. She was nine years older and was kind of like an older sister. For several years she was like family. So many things in my life seem that they would bear writing about. I have always liked writing, having written lots in the last twenty years. It’s more than a hobby, it’s a vocation.

Several years ago I had an idea for writing a memoir. I got a very good Dell computer from Operation Jumpstart, a past existing organization that helped financially with plans that people had for things they wanted to do, with either education or career, etc. At the time I had a plan to write a book, and wanted to do some other kinds of writing too. So I was thrilled to get the computer and I wrote and wrote and wrote.

Over several years I had lots of raw material for my book, which I planned as a memoir. I saved everything—It’s in an old hard drive, which means a lot to me. In future I may pay money to get the geek squad to help the info from the old hard drive. Also, I did back up everything on computer disc, and all of the discs are in a storage area. Don’t know, however, even if I could find the discs eventually, if they are still good after all the time in storage.

Don’t know yet how it will all resolve—Definitely want to retrieve old work , yet also thinking strongly about desiring to save up money and buy a laptop. I could tap into the internet at Barnes and Noble and possibly other places. Unfortunately at the MOMH group homes, the internet is not allowed. I think that to be most unfortunate. Because of this we are behind the times. We don’t have e-mail, Facebook , a blog, etc.

I really wish I could have a computer with Internet access.

If I get the laptop, I want to write something new, something I have never tried to do before. I have an idea for some stories, but not sure how it will all play out. Part of me wants to do something new, part of me wants to go back to the memoir. I certainly feel that I have a lot to say about my life experience—the illness, as well as everything else in my life.

Pandora and the Glue Pot

 Artist: Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema.  Born in Dronrijp, the Netherlands, and trained at the Royal Academy of Antwerp, Belgium, he settled in England in 1870 and spent the rest of his life there. A classical-subject painter, he became famous for his depictions of the luxury and decadence of the Roman Empire, with languorous figures set in fabulous marbled interiors or against a backdrop of dazzling blue Mediterranean sea and sky.


One comment

  1. Tip: take the googly eyes out of the oatmeal before eating!

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