Gown. Hearts. Clown.

May 10, 2011

Facing My Power: The Queen Mask

by Clea Danaan

She watches over me, her pale green lips and empty eyes inviting me to see myself. The blue gem of her third eye dangles over a golden crescent moon. Purple feathers wrap her blood-red forehead in a spray of wisdom, and raffia seaweed frames the mermaid-green of her cheeks.

She is my Queen, a mask molded from my own face. She calls me to my inner spirit, to my power as the Queen. I crafted her at a time when I was seeking my sovereignty. Her face, contoured from my own, helped me to find my true form in a world of confusion.

When I moved back in with my parents, storing my furniture in their shed and sharing a room with my younger brother, I gave up a part of myself I had found in college. I didn’t know where else to go. My self-designed, free-form education allowed me to explore, but didn’t lead to a specific career. Graduate school plans had fizzled. The job I’d lined up felt all wrong.

Then, at the local library, I discovered The Mask of Power: Discovering Your Sacred Self by Lynn Andrews. The book offered meditations for finding my spirit animal, naming the power within myself, and making a mask to represent that power. I read it hungrily and used it to help me begin to answer the question: Who am I?

I smeared my face with petroleum jelly and applied wet strips of plaster gauze over the contours of my nose, cheeks, and mouth. A white, stoic face stared back at me from the bathroom mirror. I felt a tingle in my chest as I saw myself without a facial expression. For a moment, instead of being a projection of my identity, I was just myself. The strength of being simply myself scared me. [Read more at MatriFocus archives]

Queen Berengaria

 In declaring who I wish to be in this life, in stating that I will live a life of power, I have to face and deal with ancient fear held in my genes, handed down from my grandmothers and my mother. It is a fear of being too pushy, too loud, too creative, too whatever…..  Questing, finding, and wearing my power terrify me… …. I can shapeshift into anyone I choose to be. ~ Clea Danaan

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