The Lords of Flatulence

June 11, 2011

Unleashing the dangerous "Reverse Double Farting Flying Squirrel"

Image Credit: The Sports Hernia Blog

The Wind Beneath Our Wings: Divine Inspiration and Shadow Exaltation in Rites of (Gas) Passage

By Craig Titley

Adolf Hitler, according to Pulitzer Prize winning historian/biographer John Toland, “suffered from meteorism, uncontrollable farting” . To deal with this embarrassing ailment the Fuhrer began ingesting Dr. Kˆster’s anti-gas pills in 1936. By 1941, when he was invading Russia, Hitler was popping “120 to 150 anti-gas pills a week”. Three years later Dr. Erwin Giesling, the newest of Hitler’s private physicians, examined the pills and “was horrified to learn they contained strychnine and atropine”–two deadly poisons . The toxic effects of atropine: delirium, hallucinations, and paranoia. Considering the thousands and thousands of these pills Hitler had been consuming during his rise and reign, it seems quite possible that farting, or rather the attempt to suppress the act of farting, may have driven Hitler mad(der), lead to World War II, and resulted in the extermination of over six million Jews.

Farts are, to be sure, no laughing matter.

[read the entire article]


One comment

  1. It’s as good a theory as any about why Hitler was so monstrous.

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