A shot of Jack

September 6, 2011



Eve Lurie shared these thoughts back in 2007 when Diana Covington’s interview with the late great John O’Donohue was published in the Sun Magazine in April of that year.  I have had John’s book Eternal Echoes since December 2004;  I might read it properly one day. 🙂   This is one of the earlier cards I have made (Nov 2009); this article seems to go with it.  In a funny way, this card is about when I was a barmaid and the trays of glasses we used to bung into the dishwasher.   

When it all gets a bit too pretzel-shaped, I like to kick back with a shot of Jack……..always does the trick.

The Unseen Life That Dreams Us by Eve Lurie

I must read John Donahue again. An interview with this  lovely ex Catholic Priest in the Sun Magazine talks about how we all need times alone, times to reclaim that’ wilderness of ours’. ‘How wonderful’, he says,  ‘it is to come together with a woman who has retained that wilderness’ (the term is not defined). One simply has to imply that this means not having been domesticated by the relationship and retaining one’s original tendencies. Different tendencies than one’s mate.

And how the common ideas about what compromises a relationship these days  serves to essentially fu— it up. i.e. the couple tries to merge, compromise until a new entity is formed (if the merge is successful), if it is not, the relationship ends in divorce. The new entity is a wan version of the two individuals that became one. Of course, this is occasionally untrue. the merge is successful. Each person retains some semblence of their original personality, they each maintain their  own baliwick in the business of life together, work, eating shelter, entertainment, knowledge, socializing, play or leisure activities. It is the experience of these occasional couples that stand as a beacon to those who long for a life of togetherness.

More often these days, people are finding that they like having everything their own way, even if it means that they are totally alone.  More time is spent at the computer, reading, or responding to, other people’s ideas in the comfort of their own isolated module. Sometimes expounding on ideas read from books. It is all inside their minds, and all comes from that history they carry with them. There is little chance for real change since all the  input is from within. Oh yes, there are writings and talking to people, but there are no confrontations. These are the meat of change. No — they are not pleasant, but real change seldom comes from pleasure. I am not advocating that one get into a relationship so that one can change, however, there is something to be said for trying to make it as a unit in life, at least for a concerted time. There will always be time to be alone. People leave, people die, people go off for one reason or another.

And what about the joy of intimacy? Cousin Stephie once said, “He doesn’t get it, life is about our connections to each other” I don’t remember who she was talking about, but I have found, that although it is a joy to be wild and free. It is also a joy to connect on a personal level. To have someone in your life that you retain an interest in, as well as them retaining an interest in you.

The joy of intimacy is as sweet as the joy of being wild and free.

And there is joy of connection with other humans, but it must be a meaningful connection about things that are important you both of you. That is what makes the connection.

A relationship might be customized. What does it mean to be there for someone, Does this mean that you must live together, travel together? If you find someone in which you are interested, consider, what do you want from each other, really want. It doesn’t have to be all one way. And, what can you give, really give? And how do you have to live to retain yourself, and what do you have to offer if you merge.

Image Credit: Violet Hour Muse


One comment

  1. John O’Donohue was a lovely, gentle and deeply wise soul.

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